Fast weight loss is every obese person's dream diet, but when I introduce my new clients to my proven plan they panic when I tell them they must eat to succeed. This is something I actually understand. When I weighed 256 pounds and was so depressed I was worried for my safety, I found a naturopath who would run the blood tests I wanted to see if my liver was to blame. After giving her my medical and dieting history and explaining why I felt it was my liver causing the problems she agreed to let me do things my way. I thought I had convinced her. Nine months later when I had lost 136 pounds and returned for the final blood work that would prove my liver theory, she shared with me her first impression. She had written in her notes: "Patient views food as poison."
We both laughed at that, but it was not far from the truth. Not just for me, but as I have learned from helping so many other obese women it is a common theme among the obese. None of us feel that we can trust food because we cannot trust ourselves with it. It has been the cause of all our weight problems, not actual food, but our unhealthy relationship with it. For this reason we come to fear it.
The problem is that for those of us who have grown up with obesity the idea of how to eat like a normal person is outside our realm of understanding . We only know two modes of eating: dieting and overeating. The only time we seem to be able to control our eating is when on a structured diet, but that structure soon becomes a prison and we run to our other method of nutrition, the one that keeps us obese. Food has just never worked for us.
One of the first things that becomes very clear when new obese clients start my program, and what they actually all voice is: "I don't know how to eat like a regular person." When I tell them I want them to eat 1800 calories their first two weeks to find out what their true maintenance diet will look like, their eyes pop, their voices quake, and they stammer: "1800 calories, that is insane. I will gain weight." It takes me a while to convince them otherwise.
That first week almost everyone of my clients feel lost. They try to eat, but when I go over their food lists with them it is obvious they are living on typical diet foods and quantities, and most don't get even close to the 1800 calories. I always say, obese men and women are experts in starving. Where we have no experience is in eating to maintain our weight. By the second week I have them eating better whole foods, but still with apprehension. It isn't until the third or even fourth week before they start to trust the process and open their minds to how great it can be to eat foods that taste good and satisfy their daily appetites as well.
No one person is like the next, so no one diet is perfect for everyone. Each person must find the foods that appeal to them without causing them to overeat. Eating foods that are meant for dieters doesn't work for the obese, but it is all we know. Knowing when and how much to eat is not something left to the diet gurus to tell us, but for us to determine based on what works best for us. This is the only way to lose the weight and maintain it for life. Yet few have the courage to believe it.
Dieting is exactly what has made us all afraid of eating, yet to lose weight and keep it off for life, learning to eat is imperative. That's no brainer you are thinking, yet in my experience getting people to eat is more difficult than getting them to diet. When they do eat foods that they thought were only available during the overeating phase of their life they feel guilt and have a hard time enjoying it.
New obese clients are always tentative with their food the first week. When we go over their food list it is always filled with the typical diet foods in quantities that are not worth the bother. When I question them about their choices they will defend the food stating that they really like it. I mean really? Who honestly likes sugar free anything or those rice cakes? For them these foods are treats. What happened to us? Who filled us with so much fear of real food? Breaking through these old habits is tough and it can take weeks.
Making that switch is not easy. It takes me a while to calm their nerves and get them to trust the process. Once they do, they are surprised by the types of foods they can have in their lives and that yes, even with 1800 calories a day they can maintain their weight while feeling satisfied and full. But still that nagging thought that they are cheating, that they are breaking the dieting rules persist. Even when they are experiencing fast weight loss.
Making the decision to not let food, or the fear of it control you is freeing. No longer will you give in to cravings because you believe the food is stronger than you. Food will become what it is meant to be: nutrition and fuel. It is when that happens that the obese can step away from their fat suit for life.
We both laughed at that, but it was not far from the truth. Not just for me, but as I have learned from helping so many other obese women it is a common theme among the obese. None of us feel that we can trust food because we cannot trust ourselves with it. It has been the cause of all our weight problems, not actual food, but our unhealthy relationship with it. For this reason we come to fear it.
The problem is that for those of us who have grown up with obesity the idea of how to eat like a normal person is outside our realm of understanding . We only know two modes of eating: dieting and overeating. The only time we seem to be able to control our eating is when on a structured diet, but that structure soon becomes a prison and we run to our other method of nutrition, the one that keeps us obese. Food has just never worked for us.
One of the first things that becomes very clear when new obese clients start my program, and what they actually all voice is: "I don't know how to eat like a regular person." When I tell them I want them to eat 1800 calories their first two weeks to find out what their true maintenance diet will look like, their eyes pop, their voices quake, and they stammer: "1800 calories, that is insane. I will gain weight." It takes me a while to convince them otherwise.
That first week almost everyone of my clients feel lost. They try to eat, but when I go over their food lists with them it is obvious they are living on typical diet foods and quantities, and most don't get even close to the 1800 calories. I always say, obese men and women are experts in starving. Where we have no experience is in eating to maintain our weight. By the second week I have them eating better whole foods, but still with apprehension. It isn't until the third or even fourth week before they start to trust the process and open their minds to how great it can be to eat foods that taste good and satisfy their daily appetites as well.
No one person is like the next, so no one diet is perfect for everyone. Each person must find the foods that appeal to them without causing them to overeat. Eating foods that are meant for dieters doesn't work for the obese, but it is all we know. Knowing when and how much to eat is not something left to the diet gurus to tell us, but for us to determine based on what works best for us. This is the only way to lose the weight and maintain it for life. Yet few have the courage to believe it.
Dieting is exactly what has made us all afraid of eating, yet to lose weight and keep it off for life, learning to eat is imperative. That's no brainer you are thinking, yet in my experience getting people to eat is more difficult than getting them to diet. When they do eat foods that they thought were only available during the overeating phase of their life they feel guilt and have a hard time enjoying it.
New obese clients are always tentative with their food the first week. When we go over their food list it is always filled with the typical diet foods in quantities that are not worth the bother. When I question them about their choices they will defend the food stating that they really like it. I mean really? Who honestly likes sugar free anything or those rice cakes? For them these foods are treats. What happened to us? Who filled us with so much fear of real food? Breaking through these old habits is tough and it can take weeks.
Making that switch is not easy. It takes me a while to calm their nerves and get them to trust the process. Once they do, they are surprised by the types of foods they can have in their lives and that yes, even with 1800 calories a day they can maintain their weight while feeling satisfied and full. But still that nagging thought that they are cheating, that they are breaking the dieting rules persist. Even when they are experiencing fast weight loss.
Making the decision to not let food, or the fear of it control you is freeing. No longer will you give in to cravings because you believe the food is stronger than you. Food will become what it is meant to be: nutrition and fuel. It is when that happens that the obese can step away from their fat suit for life.
About the Author:
Carlene Jones helps the obese lose weight fast on a food and exercise based diet program. Last year her clients lost over 2000 lbs. Her workbook Fat Brain Lies lets the obese take an honest look at their obesity as they prepare to find the right program for success.
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